Caring for Others: Boundaries for Healthcare Workers

As a former healthcare worker and recovering perfectionist/people-pleaser, I used to believe it was my job to make sure everyone else was happy. Whether it be taking care of patients, coworkers, family, you name it. Spoiler alert: that didn’t end well. I ended up emotionally drained, mentally exhausted, and completely burned out.

One of the biggest game-changers in my recovery? Boundaries.

Setting boundaries isn’t always easy. Especially in helping professions where putting others first is often seen as a badge of honor. Re-training ourselves to consider our own needs can be a process, so why not start now? 

What Are Boundaries, Really?

Think of boundaries as kindness in action – to ourselves and to others. When we protect our time, energy, and well-being, we actually show up more fully and compassionately for others.

A great metaphor is the garden fence: A healthy boundary is like a fence that protects your garden. It’s sturdy, but with a gate that lets the right people in. Without that fence, anyone can trample through, often without realizing the harm they’re causing.

Boundaries aren’t walls and they’re not about shutting people out, they’re about making sure you’re not left depleted or overwhelmed.

Why Boundaries Matter (Especially in Healthcare)

If you’re a caregiver, nurse, or anyone in a “helper” role, you’ve probably experienced burnout at some point. A big piece of that? Lack of boundaries. When your default is to prioritize everyone else’s needs, it’s easy to lose touch with your own. The result: chronic stress, anxiety, resentment, and emotional exhaustion.

On the flip side, setting boundaries:

• Builds self-worth (you’re telling yourself you matter too)

• Makes your relationships healthier and more honest

• Lowers anxiety by creating space for rest, reflection, and joy

Boundaries are self-care in action—not selfishness. They allow you to continue doing the important work you do with more sustainability and peace of mind

Setting Boundaries (Without Guilt)

Yes, setting boundaries can bring up guilt. Especially if you’re used to putting everyone else first. Consider this: the guilt that may come up is not a red flag you’re doing something bad; it’s a sign you’re breaking old patterns of constantly putting others’ needs before your own.

The truth? Boundaries aren’t demands. It’s you taking responsibility for your well-being. Your needs are important too and prioritizing them starts with you. Be kind to yourself during this process and remind yourself that it is OK - and perfectly healthy - to have your own needs and boundaries. Let’s break down how to learn and set boundaries: 

Step 1: Identify What You Need

What matters most to you right now—mental health? Time with family? A real lunch break?

Step 2: Get Specific

What does the boundary look like in real life? Is it saying no to extra shifts? Not checking emails after 6 p.m.? Only attending one social event per weekend?

Step 3: Communicate Clearly and Kindly

Use “I” statements to communicate your feelings and needs. Try to avoid over-explaining; you don’t need to justify your boundary.

Step 4: Process the Guilt (It Will Show Up)

You’re not responsible for how others feel about your boundaries. Your boundaries don't mean you're uncooperative or selfish; it means you’re prioritizing yourself. 

Step 5: Reflect and Adjust

Did ignoring a boundary leave you drained? That’s good information for next time. Also, boundaries aren’t set in stone. Life changes—and your limits can too.

Examples of Boundaries

Boundaries will look different for everyone. Here are a few examples to spark ideas for setting boundaries in your own life:

At Work:

• Taking your full lunch break

• Saying “no” to staying late or picking up extra shifts

• Clocking out on time—even if your to-do list isn’t done

• Not checking emails or patient charts during personal time

• Asking for help instead of taking on too much

In Your Personal Life:

• Going to bed instead of doom-scrolling

• Saying “no” to social plans when you’re exhausted

• Limiting time with people who drain your energy

• Taking a walk or break just for yourself

• Turning off notifications after work hours

Give Yourself Patience and Permission

Remember to be patient with yourself when starting this journey. It’s a process. You don’t need to do it perfectly. You just need to start. 

Let’s be honest: setting boundaries can feel scary. It might even feel “wrong” at first. The first time you say “no” is a difficult moment, especially if you’ve been praised your whole life for being selfless. Remember to celebrate your wins when you follow through. It means you’re reinforcing your needs matter.

How We Can Help

Our therapists at Catalyss Counseling are here to help. If you’re having trouble with the process or emotions that come up, don’t go it alone. We can help you build the skills and confidence to set and maintain healthy boundaries. Whether you're a healthcare worker or a compassionate human learning to put yourself first, we can support you in creating a life where you matter too. Schedule a free 20-minute consultation today!

Author Biography

Lisa Launer is an intern therapist and a provider for the Affordable Counseling Program at Catalyss Counseling. She works with adults, healthcare workers, and caregivers to manage anxiety, emotional exhaustion, burnout, and perfectionism. Her goal is to create a brave space where you are supported, seen, and heard. Lisa has two decades of work experience in the medical field and enjoys connecting with the natural world. Follow Catalyss Counseling on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.

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