After some time in courtship with your partner, you’re finding yourself increasingly caught in patterns of misunderstandings, frustrations and feelings of disconnection. One of you seems distracted, forgetful, impulsive, and inattentive. While the other ends up constantly covering for the other, getting frustrated, feeling overwhelmed or neglected and even resentful. You may start asking yourself, “How did we get this way?” Perhaps one of you has ADHD. ADHD (Attention Defici

Humans are social creatures. We seek to find connection and love in relationships . We seek to get our needs met in relationships. All of this requires effective communication. So much of what (and how) we say and do affects others, and of course, this goes for what and how others say and do affects us.  But the truth is that we are all fairly ungainly communicators. Both in what we say and in what we hear, so communication can easily go awry. We end up feeling confused, sus

Ever heard the saying, “familiarity breeds contempt”? Familiarity can certainly lend itself to good things too like comfort, security, and ease. However, for long-term relationships, it can also bring apathy, loss of respect and/or admiration, and lack of interest. Essentially, the loss of new relationship energy which can leave us wondering where the spark went. As a couples therapist, I can offer great news, you can cultivate a strong, engaging, stimulating dynamic in your

Many people think they already know their partner, yet often, there is much more to learn.  There are many searchable questionnaires one can find on the internet to discover aspects of each partner’s childhood, as well as job, travel, love, and even food preferences. Knowing these can help reduce friction in the relationship.  However, in my experience as a couples therapist , people come believing that they already know their partner. When in reality they are just assuming t

When you’re in a committed relationship, it can sometimes feel like your personal goals are competing with your partner’s—or even with the relationship itself. Maybe one of you wants to buy a house, while the other dreams of quitting work to travel the world. Or one of you is laser-focused on career growth, while the other craves slowing down and starting a family. These aren’t signs that your relationship is doomed. They’re actually common reasons why couples seek out therap

Let’s face it—every couple argues. It’s not a matter of if, but when, how, and whether you both survive it without needing to apologize for things said and  unsaid. The truth is, arguing well is a skill. A really grown-up, emotionally mature, high-level relationship skill. And like any good skill, it can be learned. You can’t escape conflict. But you can absolutely learn to fight fair, connect more deeply, and actually feel closer after an argument. (Yes, seriously.) Let’s b

Trust is the foundation of happy relationships and forms the emotional backdrop in forming intimacy, as well as a sense of security and unity with another. In the beginning of a relationship , you may be consumed with the sense of attraction and elation of connecting with someone special.   You spend time together, share, and do things all with the aim of earning and sharing trust. Over time, you evaluate whether you have common interests and values with the other, weighing t

The term “mind map” describes how you perceive yourself and how your world views colors what you do and how you respond to each other. With this blog, I will discuss how mind maps influence your communications with others. And by changing your mind (map), you can change your maps and become clearer with your communications. Self-Talk: The Silent Partner in Every Relationship Whether you are aware of it or not, you talk to yourself constantly throughout the day. In fact, the

Have you ever witnessed other people’s relationships and wondered, “How are they even together?!” You might have been watching a...

Conflict in your relationship is hard enough. It’s even tougher when those conflicts don’t go according to plan, and you or your partner...

You already know that communication is foundational to creating and sustaining healthy relationships. There are tons of resources out...

Also known as, “The Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse”. I realize the title of this blog has big ‘clickbait’ energy, but these...

Even when you have wonderful people in your life, relationships can still be challenging to navigate. Luckily, there is a lot you can...

Couples therapy can benefit folks in many different relationship structures

The benefits of couples counseling and understanding each other's love languages

Couples therapy helps partners build trust, intimacy, and resilience.