No one said love was easy! As a couples therapist I see many people enter into therapy for reasons such as improving communication, developing healthier conflict resolution skills, and understanding each other’s love language more.
In total, there are 5 love languages. They are:
Words of affirmation
Physical touch
Acts of service
Giving and receiving gifts, and
Quality time
Attending couples counseling to have a better grasp of you and your partner’s love languages can provide numerous benefits, promote better communication, intimacy, and understanding within your relationship.
Understanding Couples Counseling
Sometimes when people hear couples counseling they automatically assume a relationship is doomed to end. Far from it! Couples counseling is really for people in any and all phases of their relationship. Some may enter to resolve a certain conflict while others want to take precautions before making a life transition such as moving in together or entering into marriage.
The therapist role during therapy is to remain neutral and assist in helping the couple realize themes that may be occurring in the relationship. Couples therapists also teach skills to help promote conflict resolution and active listening.
I’ve been asked if I will advise or let a couple know if the relationship is worth staying in. The simple answer is NO. That is definitely not a couples therapist’s role. If you find yourself in the office of one that is providing their opinion of your relationship then ask yourself if this is helpful to your relationship.
The Benefits of Understanding Love Languages
Couples who I have worked with reported wanting to enhance their emotional connection to one another but weren’t sure how. Exploring how each person’s love languages show up in the relationship has proven time and time again to help deepen emotional connection.
In our sessions we do this by first taking the love languages quiz online as homework then returning to session to review their results. What I love is that the quiz breaks love languages into a pie chart and shows how little or much of a love language you possess.
By having these results we then can discuss how each partner in the couple can express love more effectively by speaking their partner's love language. We even discuss actions to take, actions to not take, and more examples of how that love language looks.
Promoting Empathy and Understanding
Discussing how love languages present in the relationship and discussing what each person needs and wants leads to a better understanding of love languages and to greater empathy.
After spending some time learning about love languages couples report a reduction in misunderstandings and conflicts. Most couples, if not all, have differing love languages.
What I enjoy helping couples do is discover their love languages (if they don’t already know!) then really reflect on if their partner understands the love language. My role is to make sure each person understands their love language while also understanding their partner’s and how they feel heard, loved, and appreciated through their love language.
Many couples believe they are expressing love and appreciation however it may be through their own love language and not how their partner would like it.
Creating a Lasting Bond
Learning and understanding love languages can contribute to a lasting relationship. Exploring how to express your love and appreciation to your partner can enhance your relationship, intimacy, and satisfaction.
Whether you and your partner have concerns you want to address within the relationship or simply just want to set your relationship up for success by learning tools, couples counseling can help! I have witnessed the power of couples counseling and incorporation of love languages in fostering healthy, fulfilling relationships.
I hope this blog has encouraged you if you were on the fence about couples counseling to reconsider or start exploring love languages to enhance your own relationships.
How We Can Help
interested in learning more about couples counseling?
Schedule a FREE 20-minute phone consultation today!
Follow these simple steps if you are looking for general support, or if you would like to talk to someone more about how we can help you:
Contact us today for a free 20-minute phone consultation
Or, you can book directly online with the therapist of your choice
Begin your journey towards a calmer, more balanced life
Other Therapy Services Available at Catalyss Counseling:
Here at Catalyss Counseling, we want to meet all of your counseling needs in the Denver area. Our supportive therapists provide depression counseling, therapy for caregiver stress, grief and loss therapy, stress management counseling, couples counseling, and more. We also have specialists in trauma and PTSD, women's issues, pregnancy and postpartum depression or anxiety, pregnancy loss and miscarriage, and birth trauma. For therapists, we can also provide clinical supervision! We look forward to connecting with you to help support your journey today.
Author Biography
Natalie Thomas is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) and Clinical Supervisor for Firelight Supervision. She is trained in Gottman Couples Therapy levels 1 and 2. She is currently taking in-person appointments! She also provides group and individual clinical supervision for provisionally licensed counselors and social workers, along with clinical consultation for independently licensed therapists under Firelight Supervision.