The Hidden Grief of Caregiving: Making Room for Your Own Emotions

If you're a caregiver or healthcare worker, you probably already know: grief is part of the job. Whether it’s losing a patient, watching someone decline, or seeing an outcome you hoped for slip away, these moments add up. They stick with you. And sometimes, they hurt more than you expect.

Most of us get into this work because we want to help people. We want to ease pain, save lives, offer comfort. But what happens when things don’t go the way we hoped? Or when someone we’ve cared for, sometimes for months or even years, passes away? Even if we’ve told ourselves to stay “professional,” that doesn’t mean we don’t feel it.

Let’s talk about the hidden grief that comes with caregiving and how you can make room for your own emotions.

Grief Is Part of the Job But We Don’t Always Talk About It

Grief isn’t just about death. It can show up when a patient reminds you of someone you love. When you see a family struggling and feel powerless. When a surgery doesn't go as planned. Or when you're emotionally drained from caring for someone with no clear path to recovery.

These moments can leave what’s known as a stress injury, an emotional response that lingers for days or more. It’s normal and it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you're human.

What makes it harder is that grief in caregiving often hides under the surface. We might not feel like we have the space or time to deal with it. Sometimes we think, “Everyone else is coping—what’s wrong with me?” But you’re not alone. And what you’re feeling matters.

Why Grief Hits So Hard

Grief can mess with your ability to focus, make decisions, or even show up to work the way you used to. You might find yourself tearing up out of nowhere or feeling raw and vulnerable. You might start wondering, “Can I keep doing this? Can I handle feeling this way again and again?”

That kind of emotional wear and tear is real. And acknowledging it doesn’t mean you’re giving up it means you're honoring your own experience.

There’s No “Right” Way to Grieve

Grief is different for everyone. You might feel it right away, or it might sneak up later. It can look like sadness, anger, numbness, even guilt. You’ve probably heard of the “stages” of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, but it’s rarely that tidy. Sometimes you cycle through all those feelings in a single day.

The most important thing? Let yourself feel what you feel. Name it if you can. Sadness, frustration, heartbreak, even relief—it’s all valid.

Tips for Moving Through Grief (Not Past It)

There’s no timeline for grief. It doesn’t follow a schedule. But there are things that can help you take care of yourself while you're in it:

Let yourself feel it. 

Don’t bottle things up or push them down. That sadness or anger you’re feeling? It’s trying to tell you something important.

Talk to someone. 

A trusted friend, a colleague, a therapist, anyone who’ll really listen. Sometimes just saying it out loud helps lighten the load.

Take care of your energy.

Grief takes a lot out of you. Be gentle with yourself. Cut back where you can. Rest. Breathe. Do things that restore you whether that’s going for a walk, watching something funny, or sitting in silence.

Practice patience. 

Healing takes time, and there’s no rushing it. Give yourself the grace you’d offer a loved one going through the same thing.

Find meaning—when you’re ready. 

Not right away, and not because you have to. But when the time comes, you might ask: What did I learn from this? How has this changed how I want to show up for others and for myself?

You’re Not Alone

If grief feels like it’s too much to carry on your own, please don’t. There are resources out there: therapists, grief counselors, peer support groups, even quiet corners at work where you can take a breather. You’re not weak for needing support, you’re human and you’re wise for reaching out.

Caregiving asks a lot of us. Sometimes more than we realized we had to give. But you don’t have to do it all alone. Make space for your own heart. You deserve that, too.

How We Can Help

If the grief of caregiving is starting to feel heavy, you don’t have to carry it alone. At Catalyss Counseling, we offer a place where your feelings won’t be minimized or brushed aside, where your story matters too. Reach out today for a free 20-minute consultation to learn more about how we can support you. You’ve been there for so many others. Let us be here for you.

Author Biography

Lisa Launer is an intern therapist and a provider for the Affordable Counseling Program at Catalyss Counseling. She works with adults, healthcare workers, and caregivers to manage anxiety, emotional exhaustion, burnout, and perfectionism. Her goal is to create a brave space where you are supported, seen, and heard. Lisa has two decades of work experience in the medical field and enjoys connecting with the natural world. Follow Catalyss Counseling on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.

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Here at Catalyss Counseling, we want to meet all of your counseling needs in the Denver area. Our supportive therapists provide depression counseling, therapy for caregiver stress, grief and loss therapy, stress management counseling and more. We also have specialists in trauma and PTSD, women's issues, pregnancy and postpartum depression or anxiety, pregnancy loss and miscarriage, and birth trauma. For therapists, we can also provide clinical supervision! We look forward to connecting with you to help support your journey today.