Why You Can’t Just 'Move On' from Trauma

Have you ever been told to “just move on” after something really hard happened? Maybe someone said, “It’s in the past,” or, “You should be over that by now.” If you’ve heard that before, you’re not alone. But the truth is, trauma doesn’t just go away because we want it to.

If something painful has happened in your life, like an accident, a scary experience, or someone hurting you, your brain and body may hold onto that memory. Even if time passes, the effects of trauma can stick around, and that’s not your fault. Trauma affects everybody differently, too.

Trauma Affects Everybody

Trauma is what happens when something scary, dangerous, or deeply upsetting overwhelms your ability to cope. It could be a big event like a car crash or a natural disaster. It can also be something quieter, but just as painful like growing up in a stressful home or being bullied.

Trauma affects how we feel, think, and respond to the world around us. It can make you feel unsafe, anxious, sad, or stuck. Sometimes people don’t even realize that something they went through was traumatic until later.

Some people may develop a trauma from an intensely scary and overwhelming experience, while others don’t. It’s incredibly important to value your own experience and not compare it to others’ experiences.

Why You Can’t Just “Move On”

Here’s the thing: trauma doesn’t live in your thinking brain: it lives in your nervous system. Our nervous system creates our entire experience! That’s why even if you want to move on, your body might still react as if the danger is still happening. You might feel jumpy, shut down emotionally, or replay the event over and over in your mind.

This doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your brain did exactly what it needed to do to protect you. But now, that same system might be stuck in “survival mode,” and that makes it hard to feel calm or safe. Even if everything seems fine on the outside.

Trying to move on without healing the trauma is like putting a bandage on a deep cut. It might look okay for a while, but the pain underneath is still there.

Signs You Might Still Be Affected by Trauma

You don’t need to have flashbacks or panic attacks to be impacted by trauma. Here are some other signs:

• You feel “on edge” or like something bad is going to happen

• You notice similar patterns repeating in your relationships and feel powerless to stop them

• You struggle with trust or relationships

• You feel numb or disconnected

• You get overwhelmed easily

• You have trouble sleeping or nightmares

• You avoid certain people, places, or conversations

These are all normal responses to trauma and they’re signs your body is trying to protect you.

What Is EMDR and How Can It Help?

One type of therapy that helps many people with trauma is called EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It sounds complicated, but here’s the simple version:

EMDR helps your brain process painful memories so they don’t feel as upsetting or stuck. It uses eye movements or other forms of rhythmic stimulation to help both sides of your brain work together, kind of like when you dream.

As a therapist trained in EMDR, I’ve seen it help many people begin to heal. It doesn’t erase what happened, but it helps the memory lose its grip and allows your brain to heal itself.

Just like stitches on a deep cut. You may still remember the trauma, but it won’t feel as painfully sharp or scary anymore. You’ll be able to slowly feel safe and more equipped to handle the world.

How Individual Therapy Can Help

Healing from trauma doesn’t happen overnight, but you can feel better. Individual therapy gives you a safe space to talk about your experiences with someone who truly listens and cares. In therapy, you don’t have to pretend to be okay. You can be real about what’s hard.

A trauma therapist like me can help you:

• Understand how trauma has affected you

• Learn ways to feel more grounded and safe

• Gently work through painful memories

• Reconnect with yourself and others

• Build tools to handle big emotions

• Facilitate EMDR therapy

Healing looks different for everyone. That’s why therapists should work with you to find the approach that fits you best.

You Deserve Support

If you’ve been feeling stuck, heavy, or overwhelmed by your past, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to keep carrying it all by yourself.

At Catalyss Counseling, we specialize in helping people heal from trauma. Our therapists offer individual therapy that’s supportive and tailored to your needs. Whether you’re interested in talking, learning tools, or trying EMDR we’re here to help.

Ready to Take the First Step?

You don’t have to “just move on”.You deserve the chance to truly heal. If you’re ready to begin your healing journey, or even just think about beginning, we’re here for you.

Reach out today to connect with a therapist at Catalyss Counseling or schedule a free 20-minute consultation to learn more. As one of the trauma-informed therapists at Catalyss, I’m EMDR-trained and ready to support you with care, understanding, and real tools for healing.

You’ve been through enough. Let’s help you feel more like you again.

How We Can Help

Ready to get started? Follow the steps below to connect with us!

1. Contact us today for a free 20-minute phone consultation

2. Or, you can book directly online with the therapist of your choice

3. Begin your journey towards a calmer, more relaxed life!

Author Biography

Frankie Washofsky is a therapist with Catalyss Counseling who works with adults experiencing anxiety, depression, and ADHD, as well as relationship, LGBTQIA+, and polyamory/non-monogamous issues. Frankie is also an avid gamer and blog author. She specializes in working with trauma survivors, highly-sensitive people, and people-pleasers. Follow Catalyss Counseling on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.

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Other Therapy Services Available at Catalyss Counseling:

Here at Catalyss Counseling, we want to meet all of your counseling needs in the Denver area. Our supportive therapists provide depression counseling, therapy for caregiver stress, grief and loss therapy, stress management counseling and more. We also have specialists in trauma and PTSD, women's issues, pregnancy and postpartum depression or anxiety, pregnancy loss and miscarriage, and birth trauma. For therapists, we can also provide clinical supervision! We look forward to connecting with you to help support your journey today.