When we picture the holiday season, we often picture bright lights and shiny decorations, festive music, and an expectation of jolliness and joy. But for those who are experiencing grief, whether it be from the loss of a loved one, a pet, or a relationship, this time of year can feel incredibly isolating. While the world around you appears to be celebrating togetherness and holiday cheer, the absence of someone you love and the weight of that loss can make the holiday season feel confusing, bittersweet, or even painful for you.
It’s important to acknowledge that these feelings are valid. There is no one way or right way to experience the holidays when you are grieving. In this article, we’ll explore ways to honor your grief while finding ways to navigate the complexity of this time of the year with care, intention, and self-compassion.
The Impact of Grief During the Holidays
The holiday season can magnify emotions in ways that might feel overwhelming to you if you are grieving a loss. Precious memories, familiar traditions, and the visible absence of a loved one can become a sad and sorrowful reminder of what and who is missing.
Grief manifests differently for everyone because grieving isn’t linear and doesn’t follow a set pattern. Some people may feel sadness or anger, while others might feel guilt and numbness. Adding to the complexity of your experience is the societal pressure to appear like you’re happy, joyful, and in a celebratory mood. This can leave those who are grieving feeling misunderstood or feeling left out.
It’s important to remember that struggling during the holidays is a normal and valid response to loss. Acknowledging that you’ll likely experience some of these challenges can be the first step toward navigating the holiday season with more compassion for yourself.
Coping Strategies for Navigating Grief
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Acknowledging your feelings is an important part of navigating grief during the holidays. Whether you are feeling sadness, joy, anger, or even guilt, every emotion is valid and deserves space without judgment.
Grief is complex, and it’s okay to experience moments of happiness or gratitude alongside your sorrow. Recognizing that you can experience two feelings that don’t seem to go together can help you to honor both your pain and the memories that remain. This will allow you to approach the season with authenticity and self-compassion.
Create New Traditions
Establishing new traditions and creating memories can be a meaningful and heartfelt way to navigate the holidays, while honoring your loved one and adapting to your current feelings and circumstances. If trying to maintain old routines feels too painful, consider trying new ways that bring you more comfort.
For example, lighting a candle in someone’s memory, creating a memory box filled with cherished memories, or volunteering in their honor may bring you comfort, reflection, fulfillment, and meaning. These new traditions can help you keep your loved one’s presence alive in a way that feels personal and meaningful, while allowing you to fully experience evolving emotions during the holidays.
Set Boundaries
Establishing boundaries during the holiday season is crucial for protecting your emotional well-being. This is especially important if you are grieving, so you can focus on what feels manageable and meaningful, rather than trying to meet other people’s expectations that aren’t aligned with how you’re currently feeling or functioning.
It’s 100% okay for you to say “no” to obligations or events that feel overwhelming, draining, or that you just don’t want to go to. Be open to family and friends who care and support you about what your needs are, and what you can handle.
Seek Support
Spending time with family and friends who are supportive, loving, and understanding can bring comfort and validation as you share your feelings during the holiday season. Grief can feel overwhelming at times, and it can really help to reach out for professional help from a therapist for extra support.
Joining a support group can also offer comfort and support from others who are navigating similar situations. Reaching out for support ensures that you are not carrying the weight of your emotions alone and can help you find ways to cope more effectively during the holidays.
Practice Self-Compassion
Being kind and gentle with yourself during the holiday season is so important when navigating grief during the holiday season. Prioritizing yourself through self-care can help you manage unexpected or overwhelming emotions while maintaining some balance in your life. By treating yourself with compassion, you create space and allow yourself to fully experience and address your emotional needs.
A few simple things you can try that might help you are journaling to process your feelings, and mindfulness activities or meditation to help ground you. Taking breaks when you need it can allow you to rest and recharge. What other self-care activities would feel good to you?
Honoring Your Loved One
Honoring your loved one during the holidays can be a heartfelt and meaningful way to keep their memory alive. How would it feel to share stories about them with family and friends or to prepare their favorite dish as a part of a holiday meal?
Would you find meaning and comfort in creating something like ornaments in their memory or creating a photo display? How you choose to honor your loved one is entirely personal. Usually, the most meaningful tributes are those that resonate and align with your connection to them and provide you with comfort.
Finding Moments of Joy and Hope
Even in the midst of grief, it’s possible - and perfectly okay - to find moments of joy and hope during the holidays. Grief and hope, along with all other feelings, can coexist and experiencing one doesn’t diminish the other. Experiencing a range of emotions allows room for both the pain of loss and the warmth of memories and connection.
Try to stay open to small moments of comfort, whether it’s a meaningful conversation with a friend, a delicious meal, or relishing in a warm and fond memory. These slivers of joy are not betrayals of your grief but instead are reminders that healing is a journey where both sorrow and hope can intertwine.
Navigating grief and loss during the holidays is a deeply personal journey. Acknowledging and honoring your feelings is an essential part of healing and there is no right or wrong way to grieve or celebrate this season. What matters most is finding the things that feel meaningful to you and people who can support you when you need it. Remember to be gentle with yourself and move at your own pace.
How We Can Help
If you are looking for general support, or if you would like to talk to someone more about how we can help you, follow these simple steps:
Contact us today for a free 20-minute phone consultation
Or, you can book directly online with the therapist of your choice
Begin your journey towards a calmer, more relaxed life
Other Therapy Services Available at Catalyss Counseling:
Here at Catalyss Counseling, we want to meet all of your counseling needs in the Denver area. Our supportive therapists provide depression counseling, therapy for caregiver stress, grief and loss therapy, stress management counseling, and more. We also have specialists in trauma and PTSD, women's issues, pregnancy and postpartum depression or anxiety, pregnancy loss and miscarriage, and birth trauma. For therapists, we can also provide clinical supervision! We look forward to connecting with you to help support your journey today.
Author Biography
Pansy Ayala is a licensed therapist with Catalyss Counseling and specializes in treating adults with anxiety, depression, grief and loss, and relationship issues. She uses a holistic, individualized approach to better understand who you are, what areas of your life you find problematic, and how you can reach your goals. She especially enjoys working with parents. Follow Catalyss Counseling on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.
Komentarze