Coping with Holiday Loneliness: Finding Connection and Joy

The holidays show up every year wrapped in sparkly lights, warm commercials, and an unspoken message that everyone should be feeling cheerful. But the truth? Many people feel lonelier during this season than any other time of year. If this feels like you, you’re definitely not alone.

Let’s talk honestly about why holiday loneliness happens and what you can do to make this season feel a little lighter, calmer, and more connected.

Why the Holidays Can Feel So Hard

Even if you generally feel okay the rest of the year, the holidays can stir up a mix of emotions. Maybe you’re far from family, missing someone you’ve lost, dealing with conflict, or simply trying to navigate a busy world that seems to be celebrating nonstop. Social media doesn’t help as it seems everyone’s highlight reel is full of holiday cheer and celebration this time of year.

Loneliness isn’t just being alone. It’s the feeling of being disconnected. And that can happen even if your calendar is full or you’re surrounded by people. The important thing is recognizing the feeling without judging yourself for it.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel What You Feel

One of the kindest things you can do for yourself is to drop the pressure to be merry all the time. You don’t have to pretend you’re feeling festive if you’re not. Instead, try to notice what’s coming up for you with a gentle, curious attitude. A few grounding questions that you can ask yourself:

• What’s the emotion I’m feeling right now?

• What might I need? Comfort? Rest? Connection?

• What small thing could help me feel just a little more supported today?

Sometimes the simple act of naming what you’re feeling takes away some of its power over you.

Reach Out: Even a Little Bit Counts

When loneliness creeps in, reaching out can feel harder, however, it’s also one of the most helpful things you can do. Connection doesn’t have to look dramatic or social-media-worthy. It can be something small and simple. Consider things like:

• Text someone you haven’t talked to in a while

• Join an online group or community that shares your interests

• Ask a coworker or neighbor if they’d like to grab a coffee

• Attend a local holiday event, even if just for a short time

If you’re nervous about initiating a conversation, try something low pressure like, “Hey, thinking of you today and I hope you’re doing well.” You don’t need the perfect words. Showing up matters more than sounding polished.

Create Your Own Holiday Rituals

If traditional celebrations bring up tough feelings, consider forming rituals that feel right for you, not ones that fit someone else’s expectations. Personal traditions can help ground you and make this time of year feel more meaningful. Here are some ideas:

• Cook a favorite meal and make it a yearly tradition

• Pick a charity or cause to support

• Have a “holiday movie night for one” with cozy blankets and your favorite snacks

• Start a gratitude jar or reflective journaling practice

• Go for a morning walk and pay attention to the small beauties around you

Rituals don’t need to be big to be powerful. The point is to create moments that feel nourishing and stabilizing.

Find Connection in Unexpected Places

Human connection isn’t limited to family gatherings or romantic relationships. You can feel connected in lots of ways:

• Nature: A quiet walk outside can help you feel grounded.

• Pets: Spending time with animals can offer comfort and warmth.

• Creativity: Art, music, cooking, or writing can help you express emotions and connect with yourself.

• Service: Volunteering or helping others especially during the holidays can create a sense of purpose and community.

Sometimes connection shows up where we least expect it.

Set Boundaries That Protect Your Energy

If certain events or people leave you feeling drained, it’s okay to say no. You’re allowed to protect your emotional well-being. You might plan shorter visits, skip events that don’t feel supportive, or schedule downtime to recharge.

A simple script: “Thanks for including me. I’m keeping things low-key this year, but I hope you have a wonderful time.”

Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away, they’re about choosing what feels healthiest for you.

Make Space for Joy…Even Small Joy!

Joy doesn’t have to be loud or complicated. Sometimes it’s subtle like a warm drink, a song you love, a clean set of sheets, a small laugh, a moment of quiet. Notice these moments when they appear. They won’t fix everything, but they can soften the harder edges of the season.

You might even make a small “joy list” to remind yourself of things that lift your mood. Then intentionally sprinkle a few into your week.

Be gentle with yourself during the holidays

Holiday loneliness doesn’t mean you’re broken, it means you’re human. If this season feels tough, I hope you’ll offer yourself patience, compassion, and a little gentleness. Connection and joy don’t always show up in picture-perfect ways. Sometimes they grow quietly, one small moment at a time.

You deserve support. You deserve warmth. And you’re allowed to create a holiday season that feels right for you. If your loneliness feels heavy, persistent, or overwhelming, talking with a mental health professional can offer real support. You don’t need to wait until you’re in crisis. Reaching out is a sign of strength, not failure.

How We Can Help

If this season feels heavier than joyful know that you're not broken, you're human. Whether you’re feeling disconnected, missing someone, or just navigating it all solo, therapy can offer a supportive space to reconnect with yourself and others. At Catalyss Counseling, we understand the weight that loneliness can bring, especially around the holidays.

Our Affordable Counseling Program makes it easier to get started with the care you deserve at the cost you can afford. Prioritize your mental health this holiday season! Reach out today to schedule a free 20-minute consultation to learn more about our compassionate therapists.

Author Biography

Lisa Launer is an intern therapist and a provider for the Affordable Counseling Program at Catalyss Counseling. She works with adults, healthcare workers, and caregivers to manage anxiety, emotional exhaustion, burnout, and perfectionism. Her goal is to create a brave space where you are supported, seen, and heard. Lisa has two decades of work experience in the medical field and enjoys connecting with the natural world. Follow Catalyss Counseling on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.

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