Finding Moments of Connection With Your Kids During the Holidays

The holiday season is often described as magical, meaningful, and full of joy. But as any parent knows, it can just as easily feel overstimulating, overwhelming, and downright exhausting. With school events, winter break, travel plans, holiday preparations, and family gatherings all crammed into a few short weeks it’s easy to move through December on autopilot. 

Many parents head into the season hoping for more meaningful moments of connection with their kids only to realize the days are flying by in a blur. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. This is one of the most common reflections I hear from parents this time of year.

The good news is that these special moments don’t require elaborate plans or perfect timing. Even small pockets of time when you’re able to show up with presence and warmth can help your child feel seen and valued. Here are a few practical ways to nurture connection with your kids through the holiday season without adding more to your plate.

Slow Down The Transitions

The holidays come with so many transitions. Kids are often rushed out the door for school, events, errands, and family get-togethers. They have to shift from school day routines to long, family-centered days at home. They might be preparing for visitors in their space or adjusting to sleeping somewhere new. Transitions can be tough for kids and often show up as crankiness, power struggles, and meltdowns.

Take 30-60 seconds before a transition to slow down and connect. A gentle hand on their shoulder, a quick cuddle, or calmly letting them know what’s coming next can help them feel grounded, safe, and oriented. When kids sense that you’re tuned into their experience and not just worrying about the schedule, they often move through these busier moments a little bit easier.

Make One On One Minutes Count

Meaningful connection with your kids doesn't need to happen in long stretches of time. Even brief moments when you’re truly attuned and engaged can build a sense of safety, security, and closeness in your relationship.

Offering your full presence in the moment means slowing down enough to truly tune in with curiosity and letting yourself share the moment instead of rushing through it. Meet them where they are at, both emotionally and physically, so they can genuinely feel your warmth and interest. These small moments go a long way in helping kids feel safe and connected.  

Choose one moment each day to give each child your full, undivided attention. Ask questions like:

• “What was your favorite part of today so far?”

• “Is there anything you want help with or want to talk about?”

• “Do you feel like you’re getting enough downtime lately? What would help?”

Involve Kids In The Holiday Process

Many parents feel the weight of holiday tasks and kids often pick up on this stress. Kids can also feel overwhelmed when everything is happening around them without their input. One way to lighten your load and help your kids feel included is to give them a chance to contribute to holiday plans and activities. When kids have a role, it can shift holiday tasks from something you “have to do” or “have to get through” to shared moments of joy that bring you closer. Here are some simple ways to involve them:

• Let little kids wrap presents.

• Invite older kids to plan and cook a meal for the family.

• Ask your kid how they’d like to decorate.

• Let each child choose a family activity to do together.

Embrace Little Adventures

During the holidays, many families aim for the big experiences like going to shows, taking trips, and having elaborate outings. These can be wonderful but the real magic often happens in the smaller, more spontaneous moments. Kids tend to remember the time with you far more than the activity itself. Try a few of these low pressure mini adventures:

• Take a walk or drive at night to look at neighborhood lights.

• Make cookies or other treats together.

• Build a fort and have an indoor snow day.

• Build a playlist of songs that everyone likes and hang out together.

Name And Normalize Big Emotions

The holidays can bring plenty of fun and happiness but also late nights, disrupted routines, lots of stimulation, and big feelings. Kids don’t always have the language to express what they’re feeling so naming and normalizing emotions can be very helpful for them.

Slow down and gently put into words what they might be feeling. You could say things like:

• “You’re disappointed we couldn’t stay longer.”

• “Are you feeling nervous about the big family party?”

• “I hear that you’re frustrated about having less downtime during break.”

• “It looks like you’re tired from all the activity and could use some space.”

Let Go Of The Pressure For Perfect Holidays

One of the biggest barriers to connection this time of year is the pressure we put on ourselves to create perfect memories and experiences. But, your kids don’t need perfection…they need you. They need parents who can be present, laugh with them, take breaks when things feel overwhelming, and model flexibility when things don’t go as planned. 

When you let go of the need for perfection, you make space for authenticity and authenticity is where real connection thrives. Here are a few simple ways to let go of perfectionism:

• Be okay with not everyone looking perfect in pictures.

• Accept that not all of the decorations have to be put out and in the right place.

• Allow plans to change without deciding the day is “ruined”.

• Loosen rigid timelines and give yourself permission to move at a pace that feels good for your family.

Putting It All Together

The holiday season can absolutely feel rushed and demanding but meaningful connection with your kids doesn’t require extra time, endless energy, or perfectly planned moments. True connection grows from small, intentional interactions filled with presence, warmth, and attunement. By slowing down, staying present, and choosing authenticity over perfection, you’re giving your children the gift of feeling seen, valued, and deeply loved.

How We Can Help

We support parents just like you find calm and clarity especially during hectic times like the holidays. If you're feeling stretched thin or want insight on building deeper connections with your kids, we're here to help! Schedule a free 20-minute consultation to learn more about us or get started with one of our therapists. 

Author Biography

Pansy Ayala is a licensed therapist with Catalyss Counseling and specializes in treating adults with anxiety, depression, grief and loss, and relationship issues. She uses a holistic, individualized approach to better understand who you are, what areas of your life you find problematic, and how you can reach your goals. She especially enjoys working with parents. Follow Catalyss Counseling on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.

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