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Finding Yourself Outside of Your Relationship

a women sitting and reading learning to love time with herself

Feeling content within your romantic relationship is a goal most of us strive for when looking for a partner. It is possible to become so wrapped up in your relationships that you end up neglecting other important aspects of yourselves. This in turn can make you feel disconnected from your own values.

In this article, we will be discussing how to maintain a strong sense of self within your romantic relationships. Some questions to ask yourself right now might be: "Is it difficult to spend time alone? When my partner isn’t around, how do I spend my day?

A man doing something he loves

If one of your first reactions was feeling anxious and trying to make plans with friends to limit the amount of time you spend alone, I encourage you to keep reading.

According to an article from the New York Times: “Choosing to spend time doing things by yourself can have mental, emotional and social benefits, but the key to reaping those positive rewards comes from choosing to spend time alone.” (Higgs, 2019) If you’re finding it difficult to think of solo activities or even how to be okay with being alone, this might be a sign to take some time to lean more into that discomfort.

“Being alone with your thoughts, and giving yourself the space and unstructured time to let your mind wander without social distractions, can also sometimes feel intimidating” - Angela Grice, Speech / Language Pathologist and Researcher.

The benefit of giving yourself the space and unplanned time to be alone though with your thoughts can be beneficial. Some prompts to help in this process include:

  • “ What Do I Feel Like I Am Missing In My Life?”

  • “What New Activities Am I Interested In Or Willing To Try?”

  • “ Is There Something I No Longer Do That I Would Like To Do Again?”

There are no right or wrong answers and it’s okay to not be sure. You likely won't be certain of most if not all of your responses. The purpose of this exercise is to help establish a stronger alignment with yourself while creating a space specifically for you to discover more of who you are as a whole.

A couple prioritizing theirselves so they can be there for one another

With all that said, prioritizing yourself individually can allow you to show up in your relationship more authentically. Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and go at your own pace.

If you still find yourself struggling, that may be a sign to enlist the help of a mental health professional. Our caring Scheduling Coordinator can help you find out if a Relationship Group, support group, or individual counseling with a Relationship Counselor would be the best fit for you.

Click here to schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation to get started!

How We Can Help

We are currently enrolling FOR our relationship process group

For individuals who want to develop strong and worthwhile connections with others so you can feel confident and happy in your relationships.

Interested in registering for the group? Fantastic! Please use the link below to get more information and sign up.

If you are looking for general support, or if you would like to talk to someone more about how we can help you, follow these simple steps:

  1. Contact us today for a free 20-minute phone consultation

  2. Or, you can book directly online with the therapist of your choice

  3. Begin your journey towards a calmer, more relaxed life

Other Therapy Services Available at Catalyss Counseling:

Author Biography

Marie Clyne is a licensed social worker and provider at Catalyss Counseling. Her focus centers around adults struggling with Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD. Marie's passion lies in getting to know you, who you want to be, and working together to help translate those goals into reality. Follow Catalyss Counseling on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.

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